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Is my salvation lost?

A

abouthim

New Member
Recently started learning about BF. In the process, I stumbled upon another website that has me rethinking my very salvation due to being a divorced male and later remarrying. I have a couple of questions that I need real biblical answers for. I'm trying to study the word for my personal verification of the Fathers okay with plural marriage. That's where the new questions come in. While I did have a hardened heart towards my ex wife and desires to no longer be married to her, she is the one who filed civil divorce.

Q1. What are my current standings concerning biblical marriage? (Remarried and had additional children)
Q2. What a actual constitutes a biblically binding marriage? ( In my first (civilly recognized) marriage, neither of us were virgins, my first sexual encounter WAS a virgin)
Q3. With my current understanding of my salvation, would Heavenly Father truly wish to have another family tore apart? My second wife and I have children together and are believers and raise our children to love G-d.

As you can see, I am very confused now and am only falling into more questions. Before I can comtinue research into BF, I must first resolve the current state of my soul. The other website I refer to states that in the NT , Christ expands on the only excuse for divorce being false claims of viginity BEFORE the marriage and discovery at the consummation. I believing that I need to attempt to reconcile with my first wife, and then pursue a biblical marriage with my current wife to become a plural.
I'm sorry, I really confused and just need help either verifying what I have discovered or determining what steps I should take now.
 
Obviously you're in a complicated situation, and I don't think I'm qualified to answer your questions. In my opinion you should try to reconcile with your ex if she has remained unmarried, and if your current wife is accepting of PM. But there has to be others on here who can give you better answers. The reason I felt like I should reply is that you seem to be equating the mistakes that you've made with determining your salvation. I noticed that many people had looked at your post, but no one had answered you yet. I just wanted to say that your salvation is not dependent on your mistakes. It's dependent on your relationship with Jesus. If your hope is built on his righteousness, then your salvation is secure. I hope others will help you with the specifics of your problems as their gifts and experience allow, but I didn't want you left believing that your salvation could be in question because of these things. Your salvation and new heart is what will allow you to receive the Holy Spirit's guidance, wherever it may come from.
 
Thank you Jason for your reply.
The piece of work I was referring to laid out a very detailed and very eye-opening set of scripture that has me now worried. Basically what it boils down to is this; since there was no reason for biblical divorce in my specific circumstance, I am therefore a causing party to my ex's adultery since I took on a second wife after separating and not having reconciled to my ex prior to a second wife. The scriptures that are used to justify this other persons claims are too many to list at the time. However, the one that is used to claim what I am worried about is in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.
And once I am aware of sin and don't repent ( correct the current situation) I no longer have a blood sacrifice because i living in perpetual sin(unrepentant) . Like you Jason, I would always be the first to assure others that as long as they had a genuine understanding of their sin and what it does, that their salvation is secure. And now I am the one who has been shaken. It's as if a faith by works doctrine has taken over my thinking.
I HAD the belief that Christ came to show us that no matter what we will never live up to the LAW and that we must wholely put our trust in him.
I really hope I am making sense.
 
Abouthim, what is the nature of God? Is He a loving God, or a hateful one? Do we need to achieve perfection to be saved, or does He save us despite the fact that we are all sinners?

Everyone has sinned. You have plenty of times. You might have in your marriages somewhere even. But right now you are showing that you recognise the fact that you have sinned, and you wish to do what is right whatever that might be. You are turning to God. So He will hear and accept you. Don't fear that your past may remove your chance of salvation, anyone can be saved, the past is irrelevant.
Romans 10:9 said:
because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
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Please put that concern out of your mind entirely.
 
Regarding your marriage situation, could you please post a link to the other website you refer to? It is hard to comment about this without actually reading it.

Back to basic principles, has your ex-wife married anybody else after you? If so, you cannot marry her, and can put that out of your mind (Deuteronomy 24:1-4).

If she is still available, then yes it may well be a good idea to consider reconciling with her. However if she was the one to divorce you rather than the other way around, she may not be willing to reconcile. If that is the case, once again there is little you can do about it. Whether or not she had Biblical grounds and authority to divorce you, she did it. Maybe she has sinned in doing it, but that is not your concern but is between her and God.

Q1: You have not sinned at all in remarrying. Because there is nothing wrong with polygamy, a man can have multiple wives even at the same time. The objection raised by monogamists to remarriage is simply that the first marriage is still valid so if a man remarries he is committing "adultery" because he already has a wife. But we know that taking a second wife is not adultery. So there is no longer any reason for this objection.

Q2: Regarding the woman whose virginity you took:
Exodus 22:16-17 said:
If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins.
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Read it carefully. It does not say "If a man seduces a virgin ... she is now his wife". Rather, it commands him to make her his wife. So she is not his wife yet. So that woman was not your wife.
Yes, you should have at least offered to marry her (even here we read that the father can refuse, so marriage will not necessarily occur). If you did not do so, you sinned. If she's still available maybe you should do it now. But if she is now the wife of another man, she's not available to you any more, you cannot reconcile this. This is simply a sin in your past that you must add to the list of many other sins that you have committed - and that GOD HAS FORGIVEN YOU FOR.

Q3: Your salvation is not dependent on your marriage situation. God would certainly wish you to work to heal the hurt in the past, AND work to preserve the family He has given you now. What would be the point in fixing the rift with one wife only to create one with another? You'd be no further ahead. So don't do anything rash. Relax, take your time, and pray. Lots. God has a plan through every situation, even when we cannot see the way ourselves. And His plans are often completely different to what we would have expected. So pray and ask Him to show you your next steps - while trusting that He loves you.
 
Thank you followinghim. I will include the link here to the site I referred to. There are numerous articles but I am reading the titled articles "divorce and remarriage" parts 1,2, and especially 3. I 'm heading to church now but will follow up and post more of where my concerns are.


https://www.righteouswarriors.com/contr ... index.html
As far as taking on any other women as sister wives, that will be dependent on my wife now. I'm am going to continue to do much more study of the word and lots of praying. I personally believe the best way to know if Our FATHER is giving blessings is to see if he speaks to my wife about it. When the TLC show sister wives came out, she was at first disgusted at Mr. Brown but later admitted that they did seem to be happy. Noti much later the subject in general came up and she said she could see it working but didn't want her husband to be sexual with another woman.
So that's where I am currently. I believe plural marriages are not prohibited today, I just want to be as prepared as possible to be the best spiritual head as I can be. So the possibility is not completely out of this realm, but I need to demonstrate that I am capable of always showing her as much love of not more than I do now. I know if it is G*ds will, he will certainly soften her heart to it.
 
That is a good website, the author is willing to dig deep into the most controversial matters and tell them as they see them from scripture alone, which is highly commendable. Overall I tend to agree with the majority of the site. However I believe these articles are at times overly legalistic, ignoring passages that cast doubt on the black-and-white view presented and paying too little attention to God's grace. I can certainly see why you are as concerned as you are after reading it.

I don't believe this issue is as clear-cut as the author makes out. For instance, the author claims that the only justification for divorce is virginity deception, but gives little reason for this. The author affirms that adultery is punishable by death, not divorce, so is not a reason for divorce. But this ignores the only three examples of planned punishments for adultery that I can think of in scripture:
1) Jeremiah 3:8. Here we see Israel committing adultery against God, for which death is the punishment - but she is not killed for it, rather God divorces her (3:8). So divorce is a just (because God did it) response to adultery.
2) Matthew 1:19. Joseph believed that Mary had committed adultery against him. Even though they were only betrothed, not married, if she slept with another man that would be considered adultery and punishable by death (Deut 22:23-24). But he chose instead to plan to divorce her.
3) John 8:2-11. Here a woman who commits adultery, which is punishable by death, again does not actually receive that penalty, but rather receives mercy.

This means that despite the Old Testament scriptures repeatedly and very firmly stating that adultery was punishable by death, in practice even God Himself did not pass down this punishment but was more merciful. So the general very firm interpretation of the law around marriage proposed in this series of articles is called into question - even God Himself does not follow it that strictly.

Also, these passages show that there is more just cause for divorce than only virginity deception, as we see even God Himself justly divorcing Israel for adultery committed during the marriage.

Finally we need to consider the nature of God's love and grace and the fallen world that we live in. Consider the past of many people in society today - it's often a complete mess. A woman may have had many men in the past, and be in following the strict application of this law bound for life to a scumbag. Does God look at her and condemn her to that? Or does He look at her with love and mercy, FORGIVE her past, and bring her a Godly husband who will lead her in His paths?
2 Corinthians 5:17 said:
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
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If the old has passed away, it does not affect us today. So the past that has been forgiven, and no longer exists (e.g. a past divorce) cannot then cause us to be punished today (e.g. due to a remarriage).

We should look at the law as a guide for how to proceed with our life into the future (and for that I would generally agree with the interpretation given in those articles, certainly follow it into the future) - but not as a rod to beat ourselves with about the past.
 
I would submit that sins that you didn't understand before are sins but at the same time, you can't fix everything. Forgiveness has always been there. For instance
2Ch 7:14 if My people, upon whom My name is called, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their evil ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Teshuva (repent) does not assume that you can "fix" sin. It means to turn around and go back to doing right. If there are things that you can not fix about your situation that is OK. You are not unrepentant if you are sorry for handling things wrongly in the past, and are trying to do right now.
Another verse I would use is

Deu 30:1 And it shall come to pass, when all these things are come upon thee, the blessing and the curse, which I have set before thee, and thou shalt bethink thyself among all the nations, whither YHVH thy God hath driven thee,
Deu 30:2 and shalt return unto YHVH thy God, and hearken to His voice according to all that I command thee this day, thou and thy children, with all thy heart, and with all thy soul;
Deu 30:3 that then YHVH thy God will turn thy captivity, and have compassion upon thee, and will return and gather thee from all the peoples, whither YHVH thy God hath scattered thee.
Deu 30:4 If any of thine that are dispersed be in the uttermost parts of heaven, from thence will YHVH thy God gather thee, and from thence will He fetch thee.

This is after they (Israel) has done all sorts of sins that they have been exiled for. They can't fix them but they can listen and obey.

It doesn't mention a blood sacrifice here at all (blood sacrifice is not always needed....for instance there were grain sin offerings listed in Leviticus). To me it just seems to be saying "start fresh". Yah knows that we are just dust. I don't think we should underestimate His forgiveness. :)
Ok there is my two little cents, I'm done.
 
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