Support My wife is feeling regret

[MeganC]

The right things have to be done the right way for the right reasons and in the right order. Prioritizing physical intimacy as a way to move towards polygyny might be sabotaging that order.

Obviously you didn’t give us much information so ignore me if I’m making baseless assumptions.

I agree. The commitment to the husband must come before any intimacy between the ladies.

 

[GroomOf5Wise]

Thanks for the lively conversation, a lot to catch up on. As I’ve written in the past, I’ve read a lot of the forum, but haven’t participated much. From reading here and my own studies have pieced together a few core principles on this topic, several things I’m still learning or don’t have an opinion about. As for me, I am okay with intimacy between wives, I might even encourage it.

I had a similar situation arise in my first marriage.

I really appreciate your story, and the warning. I can understand the sentiment of “this will get things started”. I haven’t had to orchestrate anything on my end. I’ve been very patient, as long as there is hope. Maybe that’s why I was so excited, I feel like there’s hope again. It was a serendipitous serious of fortunate events. Vacation, no kids, great and secure in our relationship, dancing, perhaps 1 drink too many, a single girl making the first move.

The bitter and ugly we’ve done and are still capable of. Things have come close in the past to a breakup, and more recently several months ago. A lot of it is revolves around her unhealed trauma, and my stubbornness, and not being loving.

My wife has repeatedly told me of her disinterest of other men (I’ve been her first and only), and how they treat their wives / other women in general. She’s a social butterfly and has a large circle of sisters and female friends. Girls talk, and she’s starting to understand societal impact. Often our disagreements have lead into “you don’t love me, women understand me, you’re turning me to women”. To which I respond, “you don’t have to leave me, take me along for the ride ”.

 

[The Revolting Man]

Thanks for the lively conversation, a lot to catch up on. As I’ve written in the past, I’ve read a lot of the forum, but haven’t participated much. From reading here and my own studies have pieced together a few core principles on this topic, several things I’m still learning or don’t have an opinion about. As for me, I am okay with intimacy between wives, I might even encourage it.

I really appreciate your story, and the warning. I can understand the sentiment of “this will get things started”. I haven’t had to orchestrate anything on my end. I’ve been very patient, as long as there is hope. Maybe that’s why I was so excited, I feel like there’s hope again. It was a serendipitous serious of fortunate events. Vacation, no kids, great and secure in our relationship, dancing, perhaps 1 drink too many, a single girl making the first move.

The bitter and ugly we’ve done and are still capable of. Things have come close in the past to a breakup, and more recently several months ago. A lot of it is revolves around her unhealed trauma, and my stubbornness, and not being loving.

My wife has repeatedly told me of her disinterest of other men (I’ve been her first and only), and how they treat their wives / other women in general. She’s a social butterfly and has a large circle of sisters and female friends. Girls talk, and she’s starting to understand societal impact. Often our disagreements have lead into “you don’t love me, women understand me, you’re turning me to women”. To which I respond, “you don’t have to leave me, take me along for the ride ”.

Don’t put her in charge of this process or the ball in her court. She said something you should heed, at bare minimum to find out how far she’s gone down that road.

you don’t love me, women understand me, you’re turning me to women”.

That should be a very strong flashing caution sign to you. She may be issuing you a very clear warning. I can only imagine what @Keith Martin would say to me right now but please proceed carefully.

 

[JPR]

I know you don't know me, and I don't know you and while my experience is quite limited and I understand this thread is 5 months old now and I am curious as to the update, I do however understand that as men we must be leaders, we must be firm, and lead firmly but lovingly.
My advice would be to take control of the situation. Make sure you are the one she or they are focusing on, not specifically on each other or they may just figure they can squeeze you out of the picture since you are not controlling the narrative.
The Revolting Man is right, those were warning signs. I would also advise that you listen, analyze and respond slowly, thoughtfully and with intent and not rashly.
I hope everything turned out and you and your family are doing well and take my thoughts and advice with a grain of salt. I myself have yet to gain any experience of which I can share because I have yet to be there but I do know this, women love a man that takes control lovingly and listens to what she has to say.
Again, my 2 cents, might be worth a dime.