This man is free to run his house however he sees fit. But I don’t see how this can be kept from the kids. It’s better to face this problem up front and on his own terms.
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Support Hiding the poly...
- Thread starter MadameBlueberry
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This is just going to cause problems in the long run. Teenagers aren't stupid in regards to relationships. Lying to children is never a good idea. Also, affection will become natural and if one is getting affection openly and the other is not there will be dissention and distrust. They are far from being ready to enter into this.
I am not going to sugarcoat it.
DANGER! It won't work. They are bound to find out. And if they find out in some other method than directly telling them then it will backfire and they will resent it and it will be taken as confirmation that you knew it was wrong which is why they were not told.
You are better off being straightforward with them and take it as it comes and dealing with the fallout.
Further, keeping secrets chips away at you, too.
You are not doing anything wrong. Do not act like you are.
Have a big public wedding and invite all of your friends and relatives. You will find out who all your TRUE friends and relatives are.
I agree with what others have said, slow down and take it easy.
We are empty nesters, so I will share what I did to make the children aware of our belief in Polygyny.
I went about it in two different way's #1 I would talk about patriarchy and would share memes about patriarchy on FB, and questions would come up about it and I would tell them about it and what it en-tales, I would tell them about the patriarchs of the Bible and how they took care of there wife and or wives.
#2 I started to share PRO poly memes that had Bible verses on them and then more questions. They know where we stand on the subject I have told them that I am interested in taking a second and if the Father opens the door GREAT! If not GREAT! either way GREAT!
NOW if the children were home we would just be reading our Bibles and learning what it teaches on the subjects.
We are empty nesters, so I will share what I did to make the children aware of our belief in Polygyny.
I went about it in two different way's #1 I would talk about patriarchy and would share memes about patriarchy on FB, and questions would come up about it and I would tell them about it and what it en-tales, I would tell them about the patriarchs of the Bible and how they took care of there wife and or wives.
#2 I started to share PRO poly memes that had Bible verses on them and then more questions. They know where we stand on the subject I have told them that I am interested in taking a second and if the Father opens the door GREAT! If not GREAT! either way GREAT!
NOW if the children were home we would just be reading our Bibles and learning what it teaches on the subjects.
I am really enjoying this thread. How have all of you approached your friends who do not believe that polygyny is biblical? I told a friend about this site, hoping that would be an ice breaker. The response I received was that multiple wives are allowed in the old testament, but not in the new testament. I also was told to be careful and that this all sounded a bit "cultish" like. I am reluctant to breach the topic to her that I (and my husband) are thinking of living this lifestyle should the right wife come along. I referred her to the site because of the site's biblical perspective on marriage.
I prefer not to recreate the wheel, so would love to read your ideas on how you have revealed to your friends, who may be very judgmental, critical, and think you have lost your mind, that you have chosen this lifestyle?
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Just pick which friends that you are willing to lose and bring the subject up.
Sometimes I will start with a question about the Sister Wives show and ask if they are aware that there are actually Christians that believe this way?
Make sure that the seatbelt is securely fastened and keep your hands within the vehicle at all times.
Sometimes I will start with a question about the Sister Wives show and ask if they are aware that there are actually Christians that believe this way?
Make sure that the seatbelt is securely fastened and keep your hands within the vehicle at all times.
Debate this online with many folks, so that you are prepared for whatever objection comes along. You will learn also from reading what fellow pro-poly folks have to say, and find ways to incorporate their arguments into your responses. Identify logical fallacies that anti-polys love to resort to.
When you do go to friends and family, start with those who have a few skeletons in their closet. If they are judgmental towards you, they have issues, because they can point the finger at you, but they will have three of them pointing back at themselves. When you feel like you are really ready to take on a challenge, bring it up with people who look up to you, because they know that you know Scripture very well. Avoid those whom you think will look down on you; you will never get anywhere with them. I think it is great that there are some couples that have marriages that last 50 or 60 years, but I don't think of them as "soft targets". I prefer to bring it up with men who have hit a few bumps along the way, in their marriages.
Start off with Patriarchy, because that is the church's #1 glaring weakness. Second, point out the differing requirements for men and women, when it comes to divorce and remarriage. I have found it helpful to point out that there are two opposing camps in the church, with vastly different beliefs on this topic, and both of them are right, and both of them are wrong. They both use Scripture, and they both misuse the Scripture. Then I explain that the prohibitions against divorce, are primarily aimed at the husband, while the prohibitions against remarriage, are generally aimed at the wife. I cite all the relevant New Testament Scriptures, and even point out that what the prophet Malachi said, was directed towards husbands. While explaining all this, I slip in as a sidebar, that polygamy (yeah I know it is called polygyny, but most people don't) is never condemned in Scripture. I introduced this to the entire Sunday School class that I am a part of, and I am still a part of that class, and have not lost a single friend over it.
I make it clear that I am fine with agreeing to disagree, but I point out that agreeing to disagree, means they don't engage in a "my way or the highway" approach. Now, that didn't keep me from getting kicked out of leadership in my church, and being removed from the church orchestra, but that only happened after I approached church leadership with what I had discovered. When I kept it between me and fellow orchestra members and other associates, everything was cool.
My reasons for bringing it up with the church leadership, are not the same reasons that you will want to do so. You will want to refrain from doing so, until the second wife comes along. This will give you enough time to recruit the army that you will need to stand up to church leadership with. As you get more and more people in your camp, challenge them to stand with you, because your church will exercise "church discipline", but the backlash you could present to them, is something no church wants to face. The church split that you will be able to set off, will be their own doing, if they decide to push you out the door. Leadership often forgets that it is the people who make up the church, and not the leadership itself.
Closest friends just tell them. Also open about it on Facebook. I have been out about it for 10 years plus so family and friends already know.
A common misperception. You then ask what verse changes it. And there are several that they might use, but none of them say what they think they say. And then there are lots of NT verses that do not make sense without an understanding of polygamy.
Only because of our Western Civ culture. In Africa for example, it is common and accepted.
May the Lord bless you. It is hard to find someone in our culture.
As good of a strategy as any, but they will probably just think we are a cult site unless they are really looking for the truth.
I am just open about what I believe and why I believe it. Since I have solid reasons for what I believe in, I am not afraid of the push back. People will leave you over this, but I believe that anyone who leaves you about it really was not your friend anyway. Your true friends will not leave you.