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Prayer request intense parenting guilt
- Thread starter ginger2
- Start date
Boredom is good! When a child is bored it leads to creativity. Boredom makes their brain work.
If my children complain to me they're bored too much then they get given chores to do. They soon stop complaining and find something to do.
If my children complain to me they're bored too much then they get given chores to do. They soon stop complaining and find something to do.
How old is he?
At that age he can learn to do a craft. He can start whittling. Give him a rope and send him out into some trees, you'd be surprised what he comes up with! There are hundreds of things to learn on Youtube. He could learn how to knit, draw, do gymnastics, build a chair etc.
Get him cooking. He can design a meal with a budget, go with you to the supermarket to buy the food and then cook it up (with supervision if needed).
Get him cooking. He can design a meal with a budget, go with you to the supermarket to buy the food and then cook it up (with supervision if needed).
Let go of that guilt! You can't change the past, you also only have the resources that you have. Children can be bored with lots of "things" and be bored when they only have a few things. Take that emotional energy and stand strong in pushing your child to start using their brain and be creative. They will thank you for it later!
There was several months last year when I had to take my 16 year old's phone away due to falling grades. During this time, she taught herself to knit, did a really hard puzzle (which she was very proud of once finished), cut out a halter top pattern, then cut it out from an old table cloth and then sewed it together. She also went outside and engaged with the family more. And she got those grades up, too!
There was several months last year when I had to take my 16 year old's phone away due to falling grades. During this time, she taught herself to knit, did a really hard puzzle (which she was very proud of once finished), cut out a halter top pattern, then cut it out from an old table cloth and then sewed it together. She also went outside and engaged with the family more. And she got those grades up, too!
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This is awesome!
Our culture has rewarded parents for mistakenly thinking they are responsible for entertaining their children. Self-entertainment is hardwired into almost all of us by our Creator, but sometimes it requires some motivation. If a 'bored' child is rescued by adults on a consistent basis, that child will have a harder time learning to entertain hirself.
I have always told my 'bored' children that (a) only boring people get bored, and (b) if they're really bored, I can always think of something for them to do that will make a contribution to the family (aka additional chores). Amazing how quickly they stop complaining to me when I say that.
Small yard maybe, but infinite potential brain power to harness imagination.
He's complaining to you because he knows he has the power to manipulate you.
Totally stealing that.
You’re doing fine. Give him something moderately dangerous to do. It will work itself out.
When I hear about bored children, the first thing that pops into my head is this:
"Another case of farm deficiency syndrome"
Even though I have chickens, fruit trees, grape vines, and a huge vegetable garden on our 1/3 acre property, I still suffer from a moderate case of farm deficiency disorder. I need some rural acreage.
"Another case of farm deficiency syndrome"
Even though I have chickens, fruit trees, grape vines, and a huge vegetable garden on our 1/3 acre property, I still suffer from a moderate case of farm deficiency disorder. I need some rural acreage.
Just wondering, and please know that I'm asking this rhetorically, which means I assume the answer is no: has it been your intention ever since your boy was in the womb that you were raising him to grow up to be a woman?@The Revolting Man is pointing to the necessity to expose your sons to the moderately dangerous so they can gain practice dealing with the world as it is, which is dangerous. It's tough. It's broken. Its machines break down -- and need to be fixed, typically with at least some risk of permanent damage to life and limb.
...the second i thought i might be carrying him, i ate better, breathed deeper, avoided all human threats to him...
It's a mother's job to nurture and protect her children, but it can be taken too far, and one of the worst ways to take it too far is to prevent one's sons from being fully prepared to be men. In general, men have done such a good job of being men that women are permitted to be oblivious of what it took to make life seem so idyllic. I'm not saying that it seems idyllic to you, @ginger2, or that the next thing I'll write is unfamiliar to you, either, but men create, organize and provide the vast majority of the structure, protection, guidance and sacrifice that keeps the world women depend on in working order. Men who learn to enjoy the moderately dangerous are monumentally more likely to become part of the cohort that sustains that working order, instead of growing up to be girly boys. They are also more likely to live robust, long lives instead of being taken out along the way by the very real dangers that they weren't given practice handling. Sons also have self-preservation instincts. I'm not -- and I know @The Revolting Man is not -- suggesting that you send your son out into traffic on an Interstate highway to play a game of hopscotch. He's suggesting that you provide him with an opportunity to experience just enough danger that his senses will be on high enough alert that he can enjoy the thrill of being on the edge and yet still be engaged in ensuring that he survives in order to tackle one after another of the successive dangers he will face in life.
It's not just boys, you need to let girls go too. To let them learn for themselves just how far they can climb up that tree, and just how long they can hang upside down without falling.
It's terrifying as a mother to see your child up the top of a 35ft tree. There are many times I have just closed my eyes or stayed inside so I can't see it lol.
Our children aged 8 - 13 all have their own pocket knife. If it was up to me they wouldn't get something like that, I'm terrified they'll hurt themselves. But Samuel wants them to learn to use a knife, to have it when they're helping family on the farm (very handy and used often) and to learn how to whittle (which teaches them control of the knife). My one rule is that if I find it lying around where small children can get to it, or it goes through the washing machine (again!), then I take it away from them until such time as they have learned to be responsible with it.
It's terrifying as a mother to see your child up the top of a 35ft tree. There are many times I have just closed my eyes or stayed inside so I can't see it lol.
Our children aged 8 - 13 all have their own pocket knife. If it was up to me they wouldn't get something like that, I'm terrified they'll hurt themselves. But Samuel wants them to learn to use a knife, to have it when they're helping family on the farm (very handy and used often) and to learn how to whittle (which teaches them control of the knife). My one rule is that if I find it lying around where small children can get to it, or it goes through the washing machine (again!), then I take it away from them until such time as they have learned to be responsible with it.
I said moderately dangerous, knives, BB guns and small fires. He’s a boy he craves to know whether or not he’s strong, brave and capable.
...the second i thought i might be carrying him, i ate better, breathed deeper, avoided all human threats to him...
AMEN!!!
I kept my two eldest grandchildren for 3 days a week this summer, until mom delivered their baby brother. I actually taught my 5 yr old grandson how to climb a tree, and refused to rescue him when he got stuck lol. He learned he could drop down without actually dying! We were both so proud...