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Support Poly Not For Everyone
- Thread starter notforme
- Start date
Yep. Husband made this clear to me 4 1/2 years ago, if I leave, it will be my choice.
No. My husband and I have both looked and cannot find them. We do not agree on what was said. Doesn't matter. They were broken years ago (not going into detail), so my husband says they don't mean anything anymore.
I think it may be helpful if I say, for the benefit of other readers, that based on the peculiar nature of this particular situation I can personally understand why @notforme has not accepted this woman even after 4 1/2 years. Just before anyone assumes this is simply due to extreme stubbornness on her part.
Nevertheless @notforme, it may still be appropriate to go in the direction your husband is taking the family. Even if you feel it's a stupid direction. That way if he is making a foolish mistake and it all falls to pieces, you'll still be there with him and he may ultimately deeply respect your dedication. Maybe your future will be as the monogamous wife of a husband who made a foolish foray into polygamy, which was a disaster, but you're the hero who stuck with him through it...
I’m curious does he have an obligation to her? You have not given much information about the other lady. 4 1/2 years is a lot of patience and your will should have been conformed to your husbands will by now.
C
Cap
Guest
So your alternative is to be alone?
We are still living together.
C
Cap
Guest
Do you have a relationship with her? Is she a friend to you? What does she think about all this?
Trying to be as kind as I can be when I say that you are taking that passage completely out of context. Again more information would be helpful but I can tell you that God does not condone a woman leaving her husband. Thus far the only thing you have said is he is taking another wife and that is absolutely not scriptural grounds for leaving him. You are placing yourself outside the scripturally ordained authority and rebelling against God and your husband.
Thank you for sharing this. Blessings. May He continue to uphold and strengthen you. Please don't give up now.
I pray that your love for your husband be rekindled in your heart. I pray that he strives to remain committed to you as a loving husband. I pray the Holy Spirit brings clarity of mind to both of you as you seek to honor The Lord above all in life. I pray you submit to your husbands leadership. I pray that he loves on you and showers you with fresh affection.
You are cherrypicking what supports you against your husband before Yah.
You are choosing the path that the enemy of our souls is offering you.
1 Corinthians 7:13 (KJV)
And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
And your husband is not even an unbeliever, he just doesn’t believe what you want him to believe.
I think we found notforme's husband.
It seems kind of silly to even have this discussion if the important parts about the situation can not be discussed.
For example:
"My husband has decided to marry a convict. She was serving 20 years for manslaughter after her last family "disappeared". She is getting out next week and I really do not feel comfortable sharing a house with her."
The thing is that would be a very different problem than "I do not believe polygamy is for everyone."
Ah! So that is a totally different problem than you originally described.
Tell him you will accept polygamy if you can have a separate house. That way you submit and he has a goal to shoot for.
Not accusing. I am just trying to understand what you are saying.
How has he abandoned you?
Just as a side note. It makes it difficult to be very legalistic about the vows if no one knows exactly what they were.
So it seems like you are now stuck with simply deciding what the right thing to do is and whether or not you will do it.
Actually most of us here are not big on "pieces of paper".
When we use the word marriage here we mean "Christian" marriage. Christian marriage is permanent and lifelong. It is not about personal happiness. It is about reflecting the relationship between Christ and the Church.
Obviously since you believe marriage is transitory than you have a different meaning in mind. Yours has the goal of "happiness" although struggles to achieve it.
Obviously since your un-Christian worldview is different you are going to come up with different answers and you are welcome to them. But people do not come here for that.
@Quest this is about Biblical Families.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Eph. 5:22
@cnystrom speaks truth.
The bottom line is all wives and husbands need to decide and choose whom he/she will serve. Period.
Let God deal with the husband if he is in sin on how he goes about plural marriage (or anything for that matter) and choose to joyfully love her husband through submission or love herself and be done. Attitude is choice. Walking in the role we chose to be in is our responsibility and as husbands and wives we choose to be happy in it or not.
I’m sure it’s a miserable situation. I know nothing about it. But, there are BASE principles throughout scripture regardless of our situations.
I’ve not walked in those shoes, but the ones I’m wearing have a story of their own. They are walking beside an incredible man, whom I chose to submit too, even when I felt like PM was not for me.
Self pity, self righteousness and selfishness is a milestone about our own necks. Cut them off, get rid of it. Replace it with truth, love, joy, peace, long suffering..... or drown. It’s a choice.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7
Kick that one to the curb girl, not your HUSBAND!!
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Eph. 5:22
@cnystrom speaks truth.
The bottom line is all wives and husbands need to decide and choose whom he/she will serve. Period.
Let God deal with the husband if he is in sin on how he goes about plural marriage (or anything for that matter) and choose to joyfully love her husband through submission or love herself and be done. Attitude is choice. Walking in the role we chose to be in is our responsibility and as husbands and wives we choose to be happy in it or not.
I’m sure it’s a miserable situation. I know nothing about it. But, there are BASE principles throughout scripture regardless of our situations.
I’ve not walked in those shoes, but the ones I’m wearing have a story of their own. They are walking beside an incredible man, whom I chose to submit too, even when I felt like PM was not for me.
Self pity, self righteousness and selfishness is a milestone about our own necks. Cut them off, get rid of it. Replace it with truth, love, joy, peace, long suffering..... or drown. It’s a choice.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7
Kick that one to the curb girl, not your HUSBAND!!
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