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The Polygynous Loneliness Of An Old Man

elkanahtyler

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By Tyler & Tyler Posts & Publications 9/10/20



Biblical Christian polygyny can be a lonely walk at times. For this old polygynist it came in seasons and in waves. I was attending BIOLA and the textbook of the Missions class was by Christian Anthropologist Eugene A Nida's (American Bible Society) “Customs and Cultures”. He showed the Christian solution to mission field problems like topless women in Africa and polygyny in the Third World. It really opened my eyes and made the principles of Romans 14 very real and necessary for dealing with such controversial issues. He showed how the African church leaders required their godly women to be topless in church and in the community because in that community only prostitutes covered their breasts. So when European men were present in the church, the women met else where for the sake of the European men. He showed the various ways the Christian church dealt with Christian converts who were polygynists when they were converted to Christ, in keeping with 1 Corinthians 7:17-27 and Romans 14. That was when the polygyny genie was out of his jar in my life.



In my first marriage the polygyny issue came up when we discussed how my wife missed some of her old girl friends, but the marriage fell apart before anything like that could develop. But now the poly genie began to make my life very complicated. My wonderful and amazing first wife claimed to be a disciple of Christ converted from Catholicism, and I also claimed to be a disciple of Christ and my head was clear enough to understand how Romans 7:1-3; 1 Corinthians 7:1-11,39 and Mark 10:1-12 indicated that if we were trully disciples of Christ, then even though we were divorced, we were still one flesh bound to each other by the Law of Christ in the Kingdom of God.



Well after the divorce my departed first wife did not want to reconcile with me, and I had to deal with the fact that even though divorced in the kingdom of people, I was not unbound and free from being bound to my departed wife.

I had come to realize that I was under God's command to marry according to the Word in 1 Corinthians 7:1-9. It did not take long for me to realize that anyone I married would have to marry me with the understanding that if my first wife was really saved when we were married, then I would be under obligation to accept her back as wife and be a polygynist with her and my new wife. This made dating a difficult challenge. Most American women do not want to marry a man and share that man with another woman in polygyny, but that slowed me down just a little since I was accustomed to dating more than one lady at a time. No loneliness yet, but then there was Lady B who felt free to marry even though she was just 19 while I was 29.



For me to maritally repudiate and reject my first wife and then marry Lady B would have been adultery (Matt 5 & 19; Mark 10; Luke 16; Rom 7; 1 Corinthians 7). So when Lady B and I got to the place where we were considering marriage, I told her that the only way I could marry her is if she were to accept my belief that I was still maritally bound to Lady L in the Kingdom of God, and that if Lady B married me, and Lady L returned to me seeking marital reconciliation (1 Cor 7:10,11,39; 2 Cor 2 & 7), I would have to maritally reunite with her, making Lady L, Lady B and me polygynists. Lady B thought about it for a while, and finally said she didn't think Lady L would ever want to reunite with me, so she was willing to take the risk and marry me with the possibility of such a serious risk and serious complications like Biblical Christian polygyny.



Years passed and we had two children and Lady L never reappeared. But then I had a problem with some Old Testament Scriptures. I didn't have a good understanding of Acts 15, Colossians 2, Ephesians 2; Exodus 22:16-17'; and Deuteronomy 22:28,29; Proverbs 5:15-20 and Ezekiel 23:1-25 so when I was helping a temporarily disabled sister to get safely home, I inadvertently often pressed her breasts trying to keep her from falling while trying to get to walk to her house without falling. I was sincere but young and foolish and believed I had come under Exodus 22 and Deut 22 commands to marry. So later I asked her if she wanted to join my family and she said “Yes!” Broke Lady B's heart but she stayed with me and was kind to Lady S. But Lady S saw how hurt and sad Lady B was so she opted out of the family after several weeks. Polygyny had begun to make me lonely because of the reaction of the Christians around who knew what had happened, but when Lady S left they felt sorry for Lady B and accpted me back into fellowship for the sake of Lady B.



After ten years of marriage I got stupid and began to unintentionally break Lady B's heart by being sarcastic and unkind when in conflict. After 15 years and three chidren she left me taking two of the children. Got real lonely then, but even though Lady L died tragically ending my relationship with her, I was now still maritally bound in the Kingdom of God to Lady B who was long gone with two of our kids. The loneliness began to set in because who would want to marry a man who was still maritly bound to his departed ex-wife and had 3 kids, though only one was with me.



During a wonderful divorce recovery group series I met wonderful

D and fell madly in love with her. I committed to each other maritally.

Then she put me in a situation where I had to choose between being with

her or being with my AfroAm-EuroAm daughters for Thanksgiving and

Christmas, because her dad was a racist bigot. I chose my daughters

and we broke up and reconciled two very painful times. I couldn’t do it again.

I felt that I was on the verge of either mental illness or a nervous breakdown. I was fleeing from what I thought could destroy me, my grief over having to choose between a woman I loved with all of my being, and my beloved daughters who mean more to me than my life. She was trying to force me to choose between her and them and the struggle was more than I could bear ---- so I fled. I called out to Jesus because I was so incredibly horny I knew I was under His 1 Cor. 7:1,2,3,5,9 commands to marry and I had just fled from the woman I thought He wanted me to marry. I called out to Him and told Him I had failed miserably choosing my own lovers and wives, that I wanted and needed to obey His command to marry, that I would marry whoever He chose and I asked Him to bring us together. The year was 1990.

Does anyone live in or near Boise Idaho? Please let me know for fellowship. tyler4153@yahoo.com

Does anyone know of a church or Christian group in or near Boise that accepts Biblical Christians polygyny? Please let me know. tyler4153@yahoo.com
 
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Old man Tyler! Good to see you on here!

I know you have had your ups and downs over the years, but you have been one of the long time proponents and we have to respect that.

It is interesting that you are asking about Boise. I thought you were in the San Diego area? Did you move?
 
Old man Tyler! Good to see you on here!

I know you have had your ups and downs over the years, but you have been one of the long time proponents and we have to respect that.

It is interesting that you are asking about Boise. I thought you were in the San Diego area? Did you move?
Yes I moved with my daughters to Boise to save the children from the terrible public school in California.
 
Yes I moved with my daughters to Boise to save the children from the terrible public school in California.
Thanks for the good word. Hope to marry next month.
 
Old man Tyler! Good to see you on here!

I know you have had your ups and downs over the years, but you have been one of the long time proponents and we have to respect that.

It is interesting that you are asking about Boise. I thought you were in the San Diego area? Did you move?
Yes, moved to Boise ID and maybe to San Antonio next month.
 
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