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True or false: single women are either arrogant and prideful or needy with baggage

I have not read all of this forum, but I do recall the conversations on Pete's Telegram. I was apart of it, and no, I don't get on here too often.
But there were many reasons explained why men preferred young and untouched, and I won't go into all those reasons, I think they are perfectly clear.
But for the women with children, there is risk. It wasn't that no man (or men) in there (such as myself) aren't interested in women with children, it is that we have to weigh the risk vs benefit.
One thing I pointed out was that, if a woman with child was brought into a established family and things went sideways, such as the father of the child got the law involved and made a massive stink, the husband of that family has now put his whole entire family at risk of being torn apart, and if that family is torn apart then what good does it do anyone involved? None. He may go to jail, now the women are without a husband, or worse, the women go their own ways and now there is no family. He lost everything, they lost everything and now they have to start over.

Now, IF that woman with child joins a family and the father of that child is diseased, then there is no competition, no one to interfere in those family affairs, other than the potential junk attempts by the law out of ignorance, control and manipulation.

So, in reply to your subject line; True and False and all counts. Situations will vary.

I know that I myself am not apposed to taking on a woman with child, but there will be MUCH to discuss. Lots of details to work out, she needs to be a good fit in the family, needs to be extremely committed and willing to submit to her new husband and the new husband will clearly understand that he's not just taking her on, he's taking on a new child that he is going to take care of as if this child is his own, and she has to acknowledge that he is being selfless in this act. He is bearing a burden that was not his to bear, out of love, kindness and in some ways self sacrificing.
But again, the risk vs benefit (specially in today's society) has to be weighed, just as it does in any potential relationship. There is always risk, but does the benefit outweigh the risks.
Benefits to the husband would be things such as, but not limited to...
Is she submissive?
Does she love everyone involved? The other wife (or wives), children, ect
What does she bring to the table?
Does she move the family closer to the family's goal?
Does she remove a burden from someone else in the family and lighten their load?
Is she picking up responsibilities that were someone else's to bear?
Is she drama free and able to regulate herself and others?

@KarenJeanLovesYHWH I'm not trying to be mean or uncaring. The fact of the matter is we all make mistakes. We all suffer for these mistakes. Some mistakes stick with us longer than others. Sin (transgression of the law) is forgiven but the consequences of our sins still linger. That is a matter of fact in life, and there is nothing anyone can do about it other than to repent and attempt to sin no more, but we still have to bear the burden of those mistakes or choices.

Now, no one in that thread said that no man is willing to take on a woman with child. We just pointed out that a woman without children are easier to take care of and integrate into a family than a woman with children. Just as it is easier to take care of yourself when it is just you by yourself without children.
Children are a blessing, but they bring additional responsibility, use time and other required resources to care for.
Just like getting a vehicle. Sure, it provides transportation, allows you to do things you wouldn't otherwise be able to do and travel further than you can on foot and faster, but you have to pay for fuel, change the oil, replace tires and other things that break. A vehicle's potential benefits outweigh the burden and responsibility. Though that is not the case for everybody. Not everyone wants or needs a vehicle, but many people do have them none the less.
The same could be said for finding a wife or husband. Does the potential benefits outweigh the burdens and/or responsibilities?
Is the single woman bringing qualities to the table that make the husband want her to join the family because she brings value?
 
Just jumping in on this conversation. @KarenJeanLovesYHWH I can understand your need for help from a man who is not the child's father. I think that you could be an asset to us in that you can persuade younger versions of yourself to avoid Babylon, in ways that we men cannot. If you are comfortable with your husband having three wives, you can be instrumental in helping him land that third wife that he may be unable to reach out to on his own.
 
I have not read all of this forum, but I do recall the conversations on Pete's Telegram. I was apart of it, and no, I don't get on here too often.
But there were many reasons explained why men preferred young and untouched, and I won't go into all those reasons, I think they are perfectly clear.
But for the women with children, there is risk. It wasn't that no man (or men) in there (such as myself) aren't interested in women with children, it is that we have to weigh the risk vs benefit.
One thing I pointed out was that, if a woman with child was brought into a established family and things went sideways, such as the father of the child got the law involved and made a massive stink, the husband of that family has now put his whole entire family at risk of being torn apart, and if that family is torn apart then what good does it do anyone involved? None. He may go to jail, now the women are without a husband, or worse, the women go their own ways and now there is no family. He lost everything, they lost everything and now they have to start over.

Now, IF that woman with child joins a family and the father of that child is diseased, then there is no competition, no one to interfere in those family affairs, other than the potential junk attempts by the law out of ignorance, control and manipulation.

So, in reply to your subject line; True and False and all counts. Situations will vary.

I know that I myself am not apposed to taking on a woman with child, but there will be MUCH to discuss. Lots of details to work out, she needs to be a good fit in the family, needs to be extremely committed and willing to submit to her new husband and the new husband will clearly understand that he's not just taking her on, he's taking on a new child that he is going to take care of as if this child is his own, and she has to acknowledge that he is being selfless in this act. He is bearing a burden that was not his to bear, out of love, kindness and in some ways self sacrificing.
But again, the risk vs benefit (specially in today's society) has to be weighed, just as it does in any potential relationship. There is always risk, but does the benefit outweigh the risks.
Benefits to the husband would be things such as, but not limited to...
Is she submissive?
Does she love everyone involved? The other wife (or wives), children, ect
What does she bring to the table?
Does she move the family closer to the family's goal?
Does she remove a burden from someone else in the family and lighten their load?
Is she picking up responsibilities that were someone else's to bear?
Is she drama free and able to regulate herself and others?

@KarenJeanLovesYHWH I'm not trying to be mean or uncaring. The fact of the matter is we all make mistakes. We all suffer for these mistakes. Some mistakes stick with us longer than others. Sin (transgression of the law) is forgiven but the consequences of our sins still linger. That is a matter of fact in life, and there is nothing anyone can do about it other than to repent and attempt to sin no more, but we still have to bear the burden of those mistakes or choices.

Now, no one in that thread said that no man is willing to take on a woman with child. We just pointed out that a woman without children are easier to take care of and integrate into a family than a woman with children. Just as it is easier to take care of yourself when it is just you by yourself without children.
Children are a blessing, but they bring additional responsibility, use time and other required resources to care for.
Just like getting a vehicle. Sure, it provides transportation, allows you to do things you wouldn't otherwise be able to do and travel further than you can on foot and faster, but you have to pay for fuel, change the oil, replace tires and other things that break. A vehicle's potential benefits outweigh the burden and responsibility. Though that is not the case for everybody. Not everyone wants or needs a vehicle, but many people do have them none the less.
The same could be said for finding a wife or husband. Does the potential benefits outweigh the burdens and/or responsibilities?
Is the single woman bringing qualities to the table that make the husband want her to join the family because she brings value?
Excellent reply.

Would only add that there would need to be a meeting of the minds way in advance that if a man is marrying a woman with children that the man will now be the authority and that includes over the children, not just her. Clearly there will be conversations in advance about style of raising, teaching, discipline and far more. There can not be a big divide on this topic without it causing a difficult rift. A successful family must have consistency and not some people being treated differently whether in a positive or negative fashion. The children especially need consistency as they are still forming and developing in every sense of the word.
We have all heard the stories about combined families having the difficulties regardless of which direction the difficulties come from. So, I would think that the issue of the nuts and bolts of parenting and authority need to be a goodly part of the large number of topics where people need to come together, before they try to form a family.

I suppose one other addition. Love the point about the combined family potentially being at risk from the machinations of an ex.
I have had a circumstance in the past where a young lady who we were courting was making physical threats against my wife. Though I am the protector type personality type, I was not worried about it as I have had her well trained and every day carrying since she was 18, so she would have made a poor target.
Point is that it might not just be legal problems that the wrong sort of ex could bring to the equation.
We have all likely had the experience or had fiends and family who have gone through hell with a bad ex.

As well states above, it is all about the individuals and the individual circumstance and a case by case thing. Happily though, there are lots of families open to the notion.
There are certainly lots of single moms out there who would be well advised to look at polygamy as a life strategy.
 
We all are broken and have lots to work on. Luckily we have a heavenly master who is working in and through us to perfect us daily.

Have you reached out to Kaleb House? They're close to MO and specifically have a sister ministry that cares for women and children. I've done some work for them this year and will be in the future as they have need.


Feel free to PM me, I can put you in touch with some of the people in the organization.
Thats neat, the same thought popped in my mind when I read that. I've actually been wanting to do a Grindstone deployment. Perhaps I will see you out there.
 
There are certainly lots of single moms out there who would be well advised to look at polygamy as a life strategy.
My sisterwife has said before that she thinks the benefits for single moms are not talked about enough.

We all met Karen at the Phoenix retreat and she seems serious and sincere. It's rare that any woman in our western world actually wants poly, but I think Karen knows herself... and does.

My sisterwife was a single mom, and I would say the answer to each of these questions was positive relating to how she fit into our family, and the many ways I feel blessed by her being here.
Is she submissive?
Does she love everyone involved? The other wife (or wives), children, ect
What does she bring to the table?
Does she move the family closer to the family's goal?
Does she remove a burden from someone else in the family and lighten their load?
Is she picking up responsibilities that were someone else's to bear?
Is she drama free and able to regulate herself and others?
 
Just jumping in on this conversation. @KarenJeanLovesYHWH I can understand your need for help from a man who is not the child's father. I think that you could be an asset to us in that you can persuade younger versions of yourself to avoid Babylon, in ways that we men cannot. If you are comfortable with your husband having three wives, you can be instrumental in helping him land that third wife that he may be unable to reach out to on his own.
I look forward to working in women’s ministry and I pray YHWH uses my testimony to bring you guys wives 😂🤣😭 I’m sorry that’s not what I was going to say but it popped in my heart and I couldn’t help myself🤪

No what I was going to say is I pray YHWH uses me to bring many young women to The Messiah. I would love to be the Torah female version of Rob Kawlaski (I know butchered that) and be a front linemen for single women coming to Polygyny. I just need the right structure and format.
 
Nice to see the enthusiasm for the idea for plural family.

Hopefully you will have the opportunity to get out there as a advocate and positive example for other women who might consider the notion but still be skittish.
 
The Murrays, in the video I linked above, stress the importance of wise counsel from parents/elders when picking a mate (because our hearts/minds are too caught up in the experience to be reliable). He is a third generation practitioner. His father chose all 4 of his wives for him. 👍😅

This is an excellent suggestion. If the problem is not finding a husband then seeking a trusted elder person to help in the search and make an arrangement or recommendation. It widens the net, and removes personal prejudice (love is blind). It can also can insulate against the pain of rejection.
 
My post wasn’t just about the desire to have a husband but really my post is crying out to the Biblical Family and saying I need help. Us single women and widows need help and according to Scripture we should be helped. But we’re not. We’re forgotten about and avoided as soon as a man decides we’re ineligible for marriage and it’s not right. It’s hurtful. It’s unbiblical.

There is a lot going on in this thread. But I would like to concede your main point. I 100% agree with you that the church does not do enough to fulfill its responsibility to care for widows and orphans.
 
This is not very encouraging😂 you would think a woman seeking to be a multiple wife would be quicker to find a spouse but I’m learning very quickly that is not the case.

It is weird. I thought if I was a faithful believer and owned a big roomy comfortable house and had a good income and a supportive wife, I would have no problems finding a second wife, but I never did get any takers. It seems to just happen when it happens.

I have considered being a first wife, although i do not prefer this role i am not fully opposed to it either.

Attraction vs logic. I can marry a man I’m not necessarily attracted to in order fulfill a logical scenario. Looks and sex and attention are Vanity and can get us into some terrible situations. You can’t look at a person and see their Spirit, at least with the natural eye.

You are right to be looking for someone with character.

Have you seen the movie "Sarah Plain and Tall" ? An arranged marriage where the love came later after they got to know each others character, or Spirit as you say.
 
That never happens to me. Does that mean I am so un-attractive even the scammers do not hit on me?
Lol, no clue but I look like I use my face to split cordwood so it isn't that.
 
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