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Support My betrothed (third wife) just issued a challenge.

This quote is so precious for us and it is so encouraging to see it here. We have, what I would call, a very hierarchical houe and my husband's first wife is over us (yes we do call her mistress) and his second wife is over me. We try to be fairly quiet about it, but it causes so much consternation (maybe moreso than there being three wives) everywhere except in the home, which is a happy and orderly place.

It is such a privilege to be able to spend time here and not feel judged or condemned. Thank you to the forum and all who post here, though much I do have to ask at home for explanations :).
So nice to hear your comments Kerry. I, too, feel blessed that I am in a blog with very learnered people, who have studied religion well and can guide us. I am actually very interested in what was going on in the bronze age, when the religion was evolving, why it evolved, and why families evolved in that polygynous way. Thanks for sharing comments about your own family. Our family is a lot simpler- I am the second of two ladies, a lot younger than "sis"- we both have a professional life, and we both see ourselves as individuals, equal, and under the guidance and protection of a good husband
 
Yes.

You don't need to convince her of anything. She knows your family, she knows you. What's next is up to her. Tell her to make up her mind and choose.
I tend to agree

If she in fact chooses you them the lessons and sources are more of an issue for her study if she fes she will need to fight for and justify her position to her family etc via biblical teachings.

Yes to getting tightly dialed in on the subject matter, we could all be more dialed in on the specific topic so as to be prepared for any contentious claims...but in the end it is to be a marriage and not the result of winning a debate or teaching a lesson.
Good luck
 
i think you make a good point that you should start with positive proofs... when im doing apologetics with friends, im usually content to sit back and rope-a-dope, but i think im missing something important if i never offer any offense for their consideration... i just come off as stubborn and they think im unreasonable.
 
adultery is defined by the status of the woman and not of the man, what the parable of the brides and the lamps means, the relevance of the proverb about "a cord of three strands"
will you explain these to me please?
Adultery is defined by the status of the woman and not of the man: In scripture (check any Old Testament law relating to the subject), adultery is when any man has sex with a married woman. If an unmarried man has sex with a married woman, that's adultery - but if a married man has sex with an unmarried woman, that is not adultery (in the biblical law). This is different to our secular law, which is based on monogamy, and defines adultery as either spouse having sex with someone else. It only makes sense because scripture accepts polygamy. Women are monogamous - the married woman is bound to have one husband, having sex with another man betrays her husband. While men are polygamous - the married man is NOT bound to only have one wife, having sex with an unmarried woman is not adultery - but rather results in him having an obligation to marry her too.

Parable of the brides and the lamps: Jesus told a parable about ten virgins, waiting for the bridegroom. Five were wise, five were foolish, and the five wise got to go with him. This is usually assumed in Western Christianity to be talking about ten bridesmaids - but that makes no historical sense (bridesmaids didn't exist in Hebrew weddings), and doesn't make much sense of the illustration either (if they are just bridesmaids, where is the bride?). Once you realise that this parable is about ten brides, five being rejected and five actually marrying the husband, it makes a whole lot more sense. It is talking about the church, the bride of Christ - and all five wise virgins represent the church, all marrying the King.

Cord of three strands:
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

Interpretation: A team of two is great for many different reasons, as described in the proverb. However, we are then told that a team of THREE has an additional quality - it "is not quickly broken". A team of three is more resilient than a team of two, because even if one "strand breaks" (one member of the team is incapacitated or lost), you still have a team of two - which still has all the above advantages. If you only have a team of two, and one member is lost, you no longer have a team at all. This relates to all of life - business, war, recreation - but especially to marriage. A monogamous marriage is awesome for many reasons. But if one spouse dies, the other is suddenly left alone. A polygamous marriage of one man and two wives adds resiliency, because if one spouse dies you are still left with a team of two (either a man and one wife, or two wives together), who can work together to determine how to handle the future.
This is particularly important when children are involved - losing a monogamous mother causes a child to have to rapidly grow up and become their own mother, doing many of the jobs their mother used to do for them, adding even more to the emotional trauma of losing her. But with polygamy, although the trauma of losing the mother is still just as real, it is not further exacerbated by needing to become your own mother - the other wife can step up to that role, placing fewer burdens on already traumatised children, and giving them a loving mother-figure who can help comfort them in their grief.

I hope that is helpful @YoreyC, if you'd like me to explain anything further just ask.
 
She all but stated that this was the case. And by the way, it went well. After several hours of discussion, it came down to her flatly admitting "I love you but I don't want that love to be a sin." When I showed her it isn't, she broke down in my arms and cried for having doubted that she was right where God put her: with me.
Thank you all for your prayers.
This is the kind of wife we all want to have; someone who would never do something like this, if they thought it to be a sin.
 
Very good point! It would behoove @R.A. Harris to ensure he praises this attitude and stance.
Agreed
Any and all of us should be willing to admit when we got it wrong be the issue little or large.
Glad this one worked out for the family
 
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