Well it's been a while and I thought I'd update the thread, my last post being over two weeks ago.
You have to keep in mind I've been pro-polygyny for about 15 years, or just over 15 years, with little to NO support and maybe back then wasn't the time. I know now I did not have the leadership mindset that I do now. I wanted to but I think back then I felt I needed or wanted my wife's permission due to the societal power women have but I at least needed her to be in the right mindset and ultimately willing to submit to my authority given to me by the Most High (Specifically that authority, not outside the authority given to me) so between when we started going down this road then and about 6 months ago I had given up and left it by the road side (metaphorically speaking) for about 8 years or so only to be reignited by feelings I had for a previous potential, of which we have parted ways.
So the past 5+ months has been rough, lots of talking, tears, heart ache, more talking, ect.
I think I unintentionally painted my wife with a bad brush. She is a very kind, loving, empathetic woman that puts others needs above her own even at her own expense, of which I have to pull back the reigns on here and there to keep her for injuring herself due to toting on a child with disabilities for 18 years she hurts her back easily, suffers from some carpel tunnel and frankly I don't think gets enough sleep. So when she wants to take a nap I encourage her to do so and will try to keep kids at bay if needed so she can rest and I do want her to be able to have more down time to play board games with the kids, work on hobbies or just simply take a break and enjoy some brain numbing TV periodically.
From her perspective, at least 15 years ago, she believed I was asking her to seek and do something non-biblical and sinful (adulterous). That I was asking her to go against God's word and she wasn't willing to follow if I was going against God's word, of which I understand. However I think she knows better now that if she's not sure then she needs to follow, advise, seek the truth and seek God because I may do something she doesn't understand now, but she knows my heart, my intentions and that should be enough, specifically now that I have reiterated and reinforced my positions, my intentions, God's position, intentions and potential vision for what could be.
Back then she (at least in her mind) accepted that it wasn't a sin but still struggled in her heart. I think she does still struggle in her heart but it is not the same and has gotten easier and I think that is in part due to insecurities, which is understandable but I think that is now curved or curving. She understands better now my intentions and perspective and I understand better what I was not doing that I should have been doing, things that have since changed and I'm sure will continue to improve over time.
So, in short, I posted on here in the midst of the storm, of which was on and off for the past 5 months but I believe we are now in sync. She is now in the Telegram group with the women on Pete's Patrons and I think will be joining this group very shortly as she would like to get in on the women's group.
I in a way forced her to get on the Telegram group and she semi-reluctantly started messaging with Kelly (Pete's wife) and things have since improved.
I know there are still improvements to be made in myself, my relationship with the Most High and my family but life is always about making improvements and fine tuning things. As soon as you think you have something perfected or you think you've learned everything God has a tenancy to show you that there is still a long ways to go.
The best verse I can find to go along with how I think and/or feel, at this moment seems to be Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
In other news we have a new potential candidate! No, just kidding, I bet I got you there! But we are on the same page, she is following my lead and I intend to lead with firm wisdom and love as best as I am able.
We do plan to make it a point to attend the summer camp-out this year. I hope that it is more on this side of the country but if not we'll figure it out.
About the only struggle I currently have is with my 16 year old daughter that seems to think that, My view is just that, it doesn't mean it's the right view. Yea, a bit rebellious and I'm working on that. She isn't a bad kid, she's just very empathetic for her mother and has seen her struggles, so I have had to explain why polygyny is acceptable and can be good and that the world is nuts and sinful (against God) and how living that kind of life style can be good for her, her mother and the family, but obviously, like with any relationship, things can go bad. I've also had to explain why men are supposed to lead in everything but how we are supposed to lead (like Christ). Still much work to be done there.
A few days ago she thought she needed to move out and start her own life while still in high school due to all the drama and heart ache she had seen her mother going through (thanks a lot world indoctrination!). Yea, I wasn't going to have ANY of it and put my foot down. We had a long discussion following the blow up and more to come. I think it would be really good for her to mingle with some like minded families, so as such I REALLY want to make it a point to meet up with everyone and my wife agrees (yep, she seems to be in lock step now).
So, I think that is it for now, I don't know if there is really much else to update you guys on.
I guess about the only thing is we are indeed open to having another wife but also not in a hurry because I want peace in my house and the potential other needs to want to be here or what is the point, but frankly my opinion is, any woman that doesn't see the gentle loving spirit of my wife and this family shouldn't be here anyhow! Well, that's my opinion anyhow, as I said, she is a wonderful woman, I am blessed to have her as my wife and I hope to be able to bless her with a sister wife some day and bless the potential sister wife with our company if that is the Lord's will.
God Bless you guys and again, thank you all for the advice and input. I will still be lurking and hope to see you guys in Men's group. Yes, I am putting it on my calendar!
